Embracing Breakdown Moments

I’m not referring to feeling down, or a few tears. No, I’m speaking of uncontrollable sobbing and letting the tears flow.

Some would say it’s therapeutic. I suppose it is, in many ways. It’s a cleansing and a release unlike anything else. It can only be a good thing if you allow it to be. You can’t push it down deep and hope to get the same therapy session as you would if you just let go. So go ahead and do it. Preferably in private to avoid that awkward feeling that people are staring. But seriously, try it if you haven’t.

Whenever possible, give in and let it embrace you

“I sometimes find myself needing these moments. Flipping through songs, I’ll find the one I’m sure will envelop me the way I need at that moment.”

I’ve had these all-encompassing emotional moments several times, and I have found them to be quite enlightening. Not that I’m unaware that I’ve been grieving, but the act of allowing myself to let go entirely has provided me an insight, at times, which shows me how much my loss means to me and my life. That absence can be overwhelming at times and utterly unbelievable at others. Honestly, that’s the astounding thing, the feeling of unbelievability of a portion of your life that creeps in and makes you feel entirely helpless. At times, it’s a compression upon your life, a heavy blanket of limitation which you feel surprised is part of your reality now. It’s difficult to explain, but at the same time, it’s easy to identify when you feel it. That is when you understand the weight of your loss.

Of course, you also must not wallow in these breakdowns, as I’m sure the professionals would say that it is unhealthy. I believe that’s why you should find someone to talk to; to talk things out, talk things over, get an outside perspective. Over these past several months, I’ve discovered my favorite counseling is a simple conversation with a friend or family member. It’s important to me to speak with someone who has been part of my journey, if only from their distanced perspective. I have less to explain, and the details of months and years aren’t lost on them as they’ve been a part of it throughout. I tend not to be searching for the perfect comment or insight from them, but knowing that they get it and understanding on a level that only someone in my circle could genuinely understand. It’s all about the talking, not necessarily the clinical counseling. At times, though, an excellent emotional cleansing is a good thing to embrace.