When Somebody Else Tries to Tell You How You Should Grieve
when somebody else tries
to tell you how you should grieve
smile and forgive them
through your watering eyes
and then imagine
how lonely it must be
to be the person who
audits the tears
of other people
the well-intended
will tell you how
long you should miss
your beloved
but
you take your time
grief is a hedge maze
and being lost inside of it
is more than okay
don’t race through
your heartache
because you might
just miss a miracle
or two
in the teardrops rolling
down your face
don’t grieve quickly
just to make somebody
else feel better
if you need to,
let your grief
become a coral reef
let the algae of your hurt
slowly form over the years
into the softest violet hue of heaven
it can take two lifetimes to recover
when our beloved becomes
an empty chair
it’s okay
take as much time
as you need
your healing is your healing
and the scars of absence
will itch longer than you can imagine
but that is because you
risked to love so deeply
and that is far better than
the alternative
I am proud of you
and the courage it
takes for you to grieve
so fearlessly
“grief is a hedge maze and being lost inside of it is more than okay”
don’t listen to those
who want you to go back
to normal
normal will never exist again
for those of us who have
lost a part of our heart
if the moon broke in half
would it feel normal?
to hell with normal
normal was their scent on your collar
normal was their voice resting in your ear
normal was their touch on your skin
you have a new normal
it’s looking at the shape of clouds
for messages from the great beyond
that your beloved is fine
you have a new normal
it’s building a cabin in
the woods of your memory
where you and your beloved
can meet for lunch
you have a new normal
it’s crying and laughing
at the same time
whenever their favorite
song plays on the radio
grief isn’t the enemy
of life
numbness is
don’t become numb to your suffering
welcome it in
and let it wrap you
up like a blanket
whenever it shows up
at your door
it’s okay
I swear
it’s okay
your beloved misses you just
as much as you miss them
and someday
you two will
get all tangled up
together again
someday
you two will
push each on a
swing again under
a shower of falling blooms
and someday
you two will ride
comets together
on the edge of everything
and someday
you two will giggle
at all of the people
who tried to tell you
how to grieve
