Podcast

Amidst the depths of sorrow, there arises a crucial need for us to be gently nudged toward vital facets of our lives that often get brushed aside. Some of these elements are overt, while others manifest in subtler ways; however, the reminder is equally imperative. It's a call to acknowledge the elements in our lives that still warrant gratitude, even amid grief.

We must be prompted to recognize that there remains a reservoir of gratitude within us. Moreover, we need to be aware of the importance of self-care, extending not only to ourselves but also to those in our circle who share in the grieving process for the same loss. We must be confident in our strength, surpassing our self-perceived limits and assuring ourselves that a path forward can be found.

In pursuit of this purpose, I wish to offer you a written piece that adopts a distinctive tone narrated through the perspective of our departed loved one.

The episode's title hints at yet another analogy aimed at describing grief, attempting to articulate what the experience feels like. If you're a regular listener, you're likely aware of my belief in the power of analogies to provide a more accurate understanding of what grief truly is and how it profoundly affects those in mourning. The very reason behind the creation of the Journey to Grateful podcast is to demystify grief and make it a more accessible topic.

The forthcoming analogy I'm about to share is remarkably apt, offering the clearest depiction of the intricate and all-encompassing nature of the grief experience.

Consider this thought-provoking question: Are you letting grief be a part of your life and your daily experience as someone who is grieving? Maybe the better question is whether you've ever thought about intentionally "Letting grief in."

This notion isn't necessarily groundbreaking; counselors and therapists likely share similar advice. However, I've grown to value this concept more deeply as I've navigated my own journey. Now, I've stumbled upon words that might help you appreciate the benefits of actively embracing grief into your life. Join me as I discuss this challenging mindset and how it can help you.

The axiom, "The Topic is Universal, the Experience is Individual," was coined by my good friend, Angie Robinson, within the context of her podcast, The Practically Perfect Leader. While her original discussion centered on self-awareness and leadership development, I discerned a broader connection, particularly in relation to the complex domain of grief.

Though Angie's primary focus pertains to themes of business leadership and team cultivation, I have often noticed a remarkable resonance with a broader audience, including those navigating the intricacies of grief. This idea of a subject having a universal connection with so many while maintaining individual experiences as suggested by Angie, I believe can unexpectedly converge with the deeply personal experience of grief.

In my interpretation, the phrase "The Topic is Universal, the Experience is Individual" serves as a nuanced and efficient explanation of the paradox inherent in grief—being a shared human experience while manifesting uniquely for each individual. This conceptual framework encapsulates the duality of grief, wherein common threads unite us, yet the lived experience remains profoundly personal and distinctive.

The human heart is this complex landscape, hosting a medley of seemingly contradictory emotions - love and loss, grief and gratitude, sorrow and celebration, endings and beginnings. Our existence is this intricate dance of emotions, a constant ebb and flow that presents a challenging tension.

I've come to understand that these conflicting emotions can coexist harmoniously, each holding its truth simultaneously. This insightful reflection comes from the talented poet Liz Newman, known for her contemplative pieces, delving into grief, love, family, faith, and mental health themes.

I stumbled upon Liz's work through her Facebook posts, and honestly, her writing resonates with me. The way she articulates the juxtaposition of love and loss, grief and gratitude intrigued me.

It makes me wonder if, as a society, we typically view these opposing emotions as occurring simultaneously. In my own experiences, especially with grief and gratitude, and come to think of it, sorrow and celebration, I've found that these emotions can exist side by side and be authentic all at once – sometimes even within the same moment. It's a nuanced perspective that warrants consideration and reflection.

Grief has been a profound teacher throughout my journey, revealing invaluable lessons. Perhaps the most significant insight it has illuminated is the universal thread that ties us all together in our experiences with sorrow. While it may seem an unlikely benefit, grief has a way of bringing people closer, offering solace in shared struggles. In the midst of sorrow, support becomes a comforting ally. The act of sharing stories becomes a beacon, reassuring us that we are not navigating this path alone. It's from this common ground that I'm thrilled to welcome today's guest, Kira Pouge, onto the show. Kira and I share a connection through our encounters with grief. Having been a devoted listener to the Journey to Grateful podcast for over a year, Kira, like me, has grappled with the loss of her mom several years ago. In the spirit of our shared and diverse experiences, we decided to open up a conversation we had back in September to share with all of you in this podcast community. So, join us as we delve into a heartfelt discussion, exploring grief support from every angle.

The idea of moving through grief by allowing time to pass so your grief can fade and get easier is honestly a misconception. Grief doesn’t fade over time. Instead, as strong humans, we adjust and find ways to live with our grief, allowing it to become a part of our lives going forward. In this episode, I explore the overarching idea of how we can handle the hard, difficult parts of life better and come out the other side with our heads up and our hearts full. Today, we discuss how to handle hard better while we walk our path with grief.

There are grief-related writings I stumble upon through social posts, articles, or through internet searches looking for inspiration and motivation. I usually note articles or poems that intrigue me, especially if it’s a different perspective or a concept I haven’t heard before. Sometimes, those written pieces don’t go much past a mental note when I first see them. Unless that is, I see it again and sometimes, again and again. That’s when I personally believe I’d better take note of it, because there seems a reason it’s been brought to my attention so often. Today’s episode is based on inspiration, which came about in this way. It seemed to plead with me to share it because I had stumbled across it through several different sources multiple times. It also helped that the title is quite interesting, grabbing my attention and pulling me in to read it: “Today I Washed the Orange Cup.” Come with me as I explain why you must understand this intriguing title and identify your orange cup.

In this episode, I share with you a fresh perspective on grief through an article written by Kelisha Gardeen. More specifically, Kelisha details four important aspects of grief that can be helpful to know when you find yourself dealing with the loss of a loved one. Coming from her own experience, Kelisha discovered specifics she now wishes someone would have explained to her after the loss of her father. Through her words, we will touch upon moving forward, finding inspiration in loss, providing ourselves permission to feel, and finally, appreciating the most important people in your life who step up, offer a helping hand, and truly make a difference when you are on your path with grief.

Today, I’ve decided to go back to the basics of grief, so to speak, back to Grief 101. I’ll share with you ten common signs and symptoms of complicated grief as compiled by the Mayo Clinic. You may encounter these symptoms in your first days, weeks, or months after your loss - we almost all will - and due to this fact, I believe it’s highly important to understand these symptoms. I’ve personally found it valuable to understand what we may experience with grief as we journey on this unknown path ahead of us. The more you know the better you are prepared for the various surprises you will encounter and the more successful you will be at navigating your grief.