Podcast

I'm certain everyone can relate to having some special very people in their lives. People who had our back when the need arose, and held us steady as we stumbled through challenging circumstances - loss and the grief that comes with it being one of our largest challenges, if not the largest. Simply known as our “Support System” - these people are family and friends who often come through for us in ways we could never anticipate and with their own strength that often goes unnoticed. These are the unsung heroes of those who grieve the loss of a loved one. Who, on bended knee, helped to wipe our tears and stand by our side without judgment, but instead, with kind words, a silent hug, and a moment of comfort. This episode is dedicated to those we haven’t had the chance to thank enough and those who don’t expect anything more than a smile in return. In our grief, we couldn’t possibly have come this far without their help.

Have you ever thought about what life would be like without plans? It might seem like an odd thought, but plans give structure to our lives. From going to work or school, to celebrating birthdays or holidays with family, we rely on plans to fill our days. Whether it's attending your son's high school football game, watching your daughter's play, or helping your parents with yard work, plans give us something to look forward to and help shape our days. 


Now, imagine having no plans for your life. How would you approach that blank page? Would you feel anxious or excited about the possibilities? It's an interesting thing to contemplate but also a reality for grieving people.

Speaking to others about their grief experiences has helped me better understand grief over the past few years to, if for no other reason than to become aware that everyone’s grief is different. Our experiences, our circumstances, every aspect of our loss, and how we attempt to move forward have differences that can enlighten us and help us by presenting us all with a slightly different perspective on grief. To that end, today’s episode is a chat I had with an old friend at her suggestion. She reached out offering a concept of living with grief, which she felt others may appreciate. She suggested we discuss an idea she had about grief, "As long as grief is going to be your constant companion, you may as well make friends with it.” In our discussion, we go on to explain why this may be necessary for your loss journey and how it might help. This concept may be considered a bit surprising, but it’s one I firmly believe we need to consider for so many reasons. Come along with us as we discuss “Making a Friend of Grief” and why this might be a thought you’d want to consider adopting for your journey.

Episode #96 will speak to those of you who have directly experienced great, personal loss. Although healing from the loss you are feeling at this moment seems to be impossible at times, come with me as I discuss the possibility of healing. If not right now in this moment, sometime in your future. I know all too well we all are experiencing or have experienced despair, sorrow, denial, anger, and even depression, to name only a few “symptoms of grief.” We know that these symptoms can occur over and over again, they don’t appear once and then “you’re good to go.” This is why grief is so difficult to control and get through because it doesn’t fight fair; it is always present no matter how much time has passed, and when you succeed at pushing it aside for a moment, it unexpectedly pops up once again. Grief is a cycle that feels impossible to break. To that end, I’d like to talk about approaching your grief - specifically, the healing you seek – in a different way: through story.

Today's episode was inspired by a letter shared with me by a very good friend, leadership coach, and fellow podcaster, Angie Robinson. Angie joined me in episode #30 discussing Personality Types, Support, and Choosing a Word for the Year. The episode focused on providing insights to help us understand ourselves as well as others. It helped identify why some friends may shy away from those hard subjects, while others dive in and have always been by your side as you navigate your grief journey. Recently, Angie shared a letter from her friend, Steve, and as I read it, I appreciated the stripped down honesty he shared, but more importantly, the various "realities" of grief that were revealed within the letter. I saw several valuable insights which I knew were important enough to share.

I realize "The Power of Grief Groceries" title requires a bit of detailed clarification, but that will have to come a bit deeper inside the episode. As a listener you need to understand the premise of this episode is to share what I feel is the best way to help someone suffering a great personal loss. Whether you have personal experience with the passing of a close friend or family member, or you have been touched by death through an “outer-circle” connection, I will assume you understand loss, and all that goes with that knowledge. However, if you’ve not experienced loss yet, it is difficult to know how to help your friend immediately after loss. Even those of us who have been exposed to loss could probably use a reminder or, better yet, a fresh take on better ways to help someone in their initial days and weeks after a loss. I believe this is something we all can get better at, and to that end, I’d like to share several ways to do so in this episode.

No matter how many years you are from your initial loss, your grief will be part of your everyday life. Each day that passes will allow you to find different ways to take another step forward, providing you strength when you need it and confidence when you feel you have none. If you are the support system for a friend walking with grief, you may need to better understand what grief looks like years after loss to more efficiently help your friend navigate grief. Join me as I discuss my grief experience three years after loss and provide insights as to what can be expected and how best we can all help someone through their grief years after loss.  

The true definition of the words we use sometimes escapes us when we use them, or we just don't consider their meaning in detail. We often find the words we choose not to be the perfect fit for the moment, but we use them anyway with little thought as to the appropriateness of our choice of words. In this episode, I will look closer at the words “change” and “reveal” as they are associated with the word grief. The base question regarding these words is deceptively simple; “Does grief change you or does grief reveal you?” Better yet, have you ever considered that grief can actually reveal you, or something in you, that you otherwise hadn’t been aware existed? Let's discuss how or why grief might change you and reveal you as you walk your own path with loss.

All around you, it may seem as though everyone else is doing just fine. Meanwhile, you are a complete mess dealing with your grief, trying to take just one more step each day with no sign that your sorrow will ever subside. Friends may wish for strength in this time of need while others may secretly wonder when you will "get over it." Outside your window the world seems to be going on as usual, no one seems to feel the way you do, and you have no idea how to stop feeling like a complete mess. In this episode, I examine this side-effect of grief from a different perspective, providing you with tools… select words, in fact, that may help you find a new perspective for yourself.