Podcast

The axiom, "The Topic is Universal, the Experience is Individual," was coined by my good friend, Angie Robinson, within the context of her podcast, The Practically Perfect Leader. While her original discussion centered on self-awareness and leadership development, I discerned a broader connection, particularly in relation to the complex domain of grief.

Though Angie's primary focus pertains to themes of business leadership and team cultivation, I have often noticed a remarkable resonance with a broader audience, including those navigating the intricacies of grief. This idea of a subject having a universal connection with so many while maintaining individual experiences as suggested by Angie, I believe can unexpectedly converge with the deeply personal experience of grief.

In my interpretation, the phrase "The Topic is Universal, the Experience is Individual" serves as a nuanced and efficient explanation of the paradox inherent in grief—being a shared human experience while manifesting uniquely for each individual. This conceptual framework encapsulates the duality of grief, wherein common threads unite us, yet the lived experience remains profoundly personal and distinctive.

The human heart is this complex landscape, hosting a medley of seemingly contradictory emotions - love and loss, grief and gratitude, sorrow and celebration, endings and beginnings. Our existence is this intricate dance of emotions, a constant ebb and flow that presents a challenging tension.

I've come to understand that these conflicting emotions can coexist harmoniously, each holding its truth simultaneously. This insightful reflection comes from the talented poet Liz Newman, known for her contemplative pieces, delving into grief, love, family, faith, and mental health themes.

I stumbled upon Liz's work through her Facebook posts, and honestly, her writing resonates with me. The way she articulates the juxtaposition of love and loss, grief and gratitude intrigued me.

It makes me wonder if, as a society, we typically view these opposing emotions as occurring simultaneously. In my own experiences, especially with grief and gratitude, and come to think of it, sorrow and celebration, I've found that these emotions can exist side by side and be authentic all at once – sometimes even within the same moment. It's a nuanced perspective that warrants consideration and reflection.

Grief has been a profound teacher throughout my journey, revealing invaluable lessons. Perhaps the most significant insight it has illuminated is the universal thread that ties us all together in our experiences with sorrow. While it may seem an unlikely benefit, grief has a way of bringing people closer, offering solace in shared struggles. In the midst of sorrow, support becomes a comforting ally. The act of sharing stories becomes a beacon, reassuring us that we are not navigating this path alone. It's from this common ground that I'm thrilled to welcome today's guest, Kira Pouge, onto the show. Kira and I share a connection through our encounters with grief. Having been a devoted listener to the Journey to Grateful podcast for over a year, Kira, like me, has grappled with the loss of her mom several years ago. In the spirit of our shared and diverse experiences, we decided to open up a conversation we had back in September to share with all of you in this podcast community. So, join us as we delve into a heartfelt discussion, exploring grief support from every angle.

The idea of moving through grief by allowing time to pass so your grief can fade and get easier is honestly a misconception. Grief doesn’t fade over time. Instead, as strong humans, we adjust and find ways to live with our grief, allowing it to become a part of our lives going forward. In this episode, I explore the overarching idea of how we can handle the hard, difficult parts of life better and come out the other side with our heads up and our hearts full. Today, we discuss how to handle hard better while we walk our path with grief.

There are grief-related writings I stumble upon through social posts, articles, or through internet searches looking for inspiration and motivation. I usually note articles or poems that intrigue me, especially if it’s a different perspective or a concept I haven’t heard before. Sometimes, those written pieces don’t go much past a mental note when I first see them. Unless that is, I see it again and sometimes, again and again. That’s when I personally believe I’d better take note of it, because there seems a reason it’s been brought to my attention so often. Today’s episode is based on inspiration, which came about in this way. It seemed to plead with me to share it because I had stumbled across it through several different sources multiple times. It also helped that the title is quite interesting, grabbing my attention and pulling me in to read it: “Today I Washed the Orange Cup.” Come with me as I explain why you must understand this intriguing title and identify your orange cup.

In this episode, I share with you a fresh perspective on grief through an article written by Kelisha Gardeen. More specifically, Kelisha details four important aspects of grief that can be helpful to know when you find yourself dealing with the loss of a loved one. Coming from her own experience, Kelisha discovered specifics she now wishes someone would have explained to her after the loss of her father. Through her words, we will touch upon moving forward, finding inspiration in loss, providing ourselves permission to feel, and finally, appreciating the most important people in your life who step up, offer a helping hand, and truly make a difference when you are on your path with grief.

Today, I’ve decided to go back to the basics of grief, so to speak, back to Grief 101. I’ll share with you ten common signs and symptoms of complicated grief as compiled by the Mayo Clinic. You may encounter these symptoms in your first days, weeks, or months after your loss - we almost all will - and due to this fact, I believe it’s highly important to understand these symptoms. I’ve personally found it valuable to understand what we may experience with grief as we journey on this unknown path ahead of us. The more you know the better you are prepared for the various surprises you will encounter and the more successful you will be at navigating your grief.

I'm certain everyone can relate to having some special very people in their lives. People who had our back when the need arose, and held us steady as we stumbled through challenging circumstances - loss and the grief that comes with it being one of our largest challenges, if not the largest. Simply known as our “Support System” - these people are family and friends who often come through for us in ways we could never anticipate and with their own strength that often goes unnoticed. These are the unsung heroes of those who grieve the loss of a loved one. Who, on bended knee, helped to wipe our tears and stand by our side without judgment, but instead, with kind words, a silent hug, and a moment of comfort. This episode is dedicated to those we haven’t had the chance to thank enough and those who don’t expect anything more than a smile in return. In our grief, we couldn’t possibly have come this far without their help.

Have you ever thought about what life would be like without plans? It might seem like an odd thought, but plans give structure to our lives. From going to work or school, to celebrating birthdays or holidays with family, we rely on plans to fill our days. Whether it's attending your son's high school football game, watching your daughter's play, or helping your parents with yard work, plans give us something to look forward to and help shape our days. 


Now, imagine having no plans for your life. How would you approach that blank page? Would you feel anxious or excited about the possibilities? It's an interesting thing to contemplate but also a reality for grieving people.

Speaking to others about their grief experiences has helped me better understand grief over the past few years to, if for no other reason than to become aware that everyone’s grief is different. Our experiences, our circumstances, every aspect of our loss, and how we attempt to move forward have differences that can enlighten us and help us by presenting us all with a slightly different perspective on grief. To that end, today’s episode is a chat I had with an old friend at her suggestion. She reached out offering a concept of living with grief, which she felt others may appreciate. She suggested we discuss an idea she had about grief, "As long as grief is going to be your constant companion, you may as well make friends with it.” In our discussion, we go on to explain why this may be necessary for your loss journey and how it might help. This concept may be considered a bit surprising, but it’s one I firmly believe we need to consider for so many reasons. Come along with us as we discuss “Making a Friend of Grief” and why this might be a thought you’d want to consider adopting for your journey.